One Breast, Two Breast, Left Breast, Right Breast: A Dr. Seuss Parody for Breastfeeding Mothers

         Did you know that this week, August 1-7, is World Breastfeeding Week and the Month of August is National Breastfeeding Month here in the United States? If you didn't, please click here for a little more information. As a way of celebrating, I will be having some very special posts here on the blog this month. Among these special posts will be some personal breastfeeding stories submitted by moms just like you and me, a special guest post by the team at The Fourth Trimester Lactation Counseling and Breastfeeding Advocacy, and some awesome giveaways that all nursing (and some non nursing) moms will definitely enjoy! Also be sure to look out for my post on the Big Latch On that I will be attending on Saturday, August 3rd, and possibly a couple of posts highlighting the nursing exhibits I will be participating in. To kick off the month of celebration, here is a parody of Dr. Seuss' "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" by Dyan Robson, courtesy of Breast Is Best. Let the fun begin!

One Breast, Two Breast, Left Breast, Right Breast:

A Dr. Seuss Parody for Breastfeeding Mothers

by Dyan Robson

One breast

Two breast

Left breast

Right breast.

Which one did

I nurse with last?

Which one will

have a letdown fast?

This one feels uncomfortable.

This one feels more pliable.

Say! both my breasts are capable.

Yes. Some are big. And some are small.

Some nurse freely. And some under a shawl.

Some get sore. 

And some make more.

And some have even nursed before.

Why are they

sore, make more, and nursed before?

I do not know.

Go ask a lactation educator.

Some nurse one babe.

And some nurse more.

Tandem nursing sometimes

feels like quite a chore.

From there to here,

From here to there,

I will nurse

my baby everywhere.

Here are nursing pads

to absorb leaking milk.

They absorb leaking milk,

both hind and foremilk.

Oh me! Oh my!

Oh me! Oh my!

I leaked and now

my shirt's no longer dry.

Some nurse for days

and some for weeks.

Some nurse for months

and some for longer streaks.

When do you know when you should stop? I can't say.

But a minimum of two years is what

the WHO recommends today.

We see them engorge.

We see them grow.

Some letdown fast.

And some letdown slow.

Some get plugged ducts.

And some do not know

The pain of mastitis when you feed 'er.

Don't ask us why.

Go ask your La Leche League Leader.

Say!

Look at the feedings!

One, two, three...

How many feedings

will I see?

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven,

eight, nine, ten.

I've nursed eleven!

Eleven!

This is nothing new.

I feed when baby

gives the cue!

Pump!

Pump!

Pump!

Did you ever try to pump?

We have a pump

and it's a manual pump.

But

we know a woman

called Ms. Exclusively-Pump.

Ms. Exclusively-Pump has a double electric pump.

So...

if you like to go Pump! Pump!

just jump on the pump of Ms. Exclusively-Pump.

Who am I?

My name's cradle hold.

Baby lays across your lap,

or so I have been told.

This is not good.

This is not right.

I am not getting

much sleep at night.

And when I am too tired,

Oh, dear!

Side-lying position works best,

I cheer!

Every day,

From morn to night,

I nurse my babe 'cause it feels right."